I don't have insomnia I have Internet connection

what if being vampire is not all about super powers, what if it is a curse, imagine being stuck at your age all the time, what if you are 17, and you don’t age, all he bad thoughts, all the emotions that you get when u are a teenager, over and over again for thousand years 

I freaking hate it! I’m sick! I’m freaking sick and I have no place to stay and recover! And I’m sick of freaking rules and orders, stop ordering me around, stop saying do this, do that, it’s cause you order all the time that I flinch at simple things! I freaking hate your orders and yes, now I think your every word is one, stop ordering us around! God, I hate it! I don’t feel anything much, I am not interested in anything, I don’t care about anyone, but do I hate your orders! I hate that everything is bad again and nothing helps and nothing works! I hate it till my teeth grind!Gaaah!

What I think is going on is this: we ahve some deep problems, which I believe at this moment origine from being locked in the cage. THe only thing we desperately want is freedom. We can;t have it and here comes all these insomnia/head-ache/stomach-ache/depression problems. Yep, drug seemed to help, but at this point I believe it just changed the direction of problems. The mood is better and paranoia is less noticeble, but head ache and insomnia problems totally got worse. So the thing is - it didn’t cure anything and didn’t make anything better, it just redirected one shit to another. I fucking hate it.

What I desperately want is to break free. I want my freedom, damn it!